Why Workplaces Keep Underestimating Mothers, with Alexa Starks

EVEN Careers Podcast | Alexa Starks | Motherhood and leadership 

Motherhood isn't the end of leadership potential. It may be one of its greatest accelerators.

When women become mothers, the conversation at work often changes. Can she still travel? Is she still ambitious? Will she want the promotion? Can she really take on a bigger leadership role?

For decades, the dominant narrative around working motherhood has centred on what women lose: time, flexibility, career progression and earnings. The motherhood penalty is well documented.

But what if we've been asking the wrong question?

In this episode of EVEN Careers, Dr Nora Koslowski speaks with Alexa Starks, founder of Mothered Media and author of the 2026 Maternal Strengths Report, about why organisations may be overlooking one of their greatest sources of leadership talent.

Drawing on research with hundreds of working mothers, Alexa explores how motherhood develops many of the capabilities organisations say they value most in leaders and why workplace systems have been slow to recognise them.

If you're a mid-career woman navigating leadership, career progression and family responsibilities, this conversation offers a refreshing and evidence-informed perspective on what motherhood really develops.

Here are three key takeaways that have stayed with us:

1. Motherhood builds leadership capability, not just resilience

One of the most surprising findings from the Maternal Strengths Report was that every leadership capability measured increased after women became mothers. Importantly, the biggest reported gains weren't only in traditionally "soft" skills such as empathy. The strongest increases were in operational leadership capabilities including:

• Time management

• Strategic energy allocation

• Negotiation

• Communication

• Prioritisation

• Decision-making under pressure

As Alexa explains in the episode, this makes sense when you consider the reality of modern motherhood. Every day requires women to manage competing priorities, negotiate constantly, solve problems with incomplete information, adapt when plans change and make decisions under pressure, often while operating on very little sleep. For women in leadership, that's an important reframe. Rather than viewing motherhood as a disruption to career development, perhaps we should recognise it as one of life's most significant leadership development experiences. That’s not to say it’s a walk in the park. But it does offer growth opportunity that’s not often recognised.

2. The real problem isn't mothers. It's outdated workplace assumptions.

While the report celebrates the strengths mothers develop, it doesn't ignore the reality many women continue to experience. Alexa argues that workplaces are still operating from assumptions that no longer reflect modern leadership.

• Visibility is often mistaken for performance.

• Flexibility is interpreted as reduced commitment.

• Availability becomes a proxy for leadership potential.

Meanwhile, the adaptability, judgement and operational capability mothers develop frequently go unnoticed. One of the most thought-provoking moments in the conversation comes when Alexa suggests that motherhood should be recognised in much the same way organisations recognise an MBA. When someone completes an MBA, leaders often ask: "What new opportunities would you like to take on?", or "What projects can help you apply these new skills?"

Returning from parental leave rarely prompts the same conversation. Instead, many women encounter assumptions about what they can no longer do. For organisations committed to developing women leaders, this represents a significant missed opportunity. 

3. Supporting working mothers requires better leadership (not just better policies)

Many organisations now offer flexible work arrangements. But as Alexa points out, flexibility alone isn't enough. Women need flexibility without consequence. If requesting flexible work removes someone from promotion conversations, high-profile projects or leadership opportunities, the policy hasn't solved the underlying problem.

Instead, Alexa argues that managers need greater confidence having career conversations with working parents. Rather than making assumptions, leaders should simply ask: “What matters most to you right now?”, “What support would help you succeed?”, or “How do you want your career to develop over the next few years?”.

These conversations acknowledge that motherhood changes people. But they also recognise something equally important. Change doesn't mean diminished ambition. News flash: it can mean expanded capability.

If you're a mid-career woman, a people leader, or someone passionate about building more inclusive workplaces, this episode will challenge the way you think about leadership, career development and working motherhood.

Listen to Dr Nora Koslowski's conversation with Alexa Starks here.