How to unlearn silence and find your voice with Elaine Lin Hering

Get EVEN Podcast | Elaine Lin Hering | Unlearning Silence

In a recent episode of Get EVEN podcast, EVEN co-founder Ellen Sullivan sat down with Elaine Lin Hering, author of Unlearning Silence, to explore why so many of us hold back, why we don’t speak up and what it takes to change that.

Many of us have learnt that staying quiet can be the safest option at work. Quiet when someone says something that feels slightly offensive, quiet when someone mispronounces your name, or simply just staying quiet in a large group meeting.

We are high-achieving and ambitious, yet don't want to appear difficult, emotional, demanding or disruptive. We don’t want to inconvenience or make people uncomfortable. Sound familiar?

Yet over time, silence can come at a cost.

Here were three ideas that stayed with us:

Silence is often learned, not chosen

Many of us assume that speaking up is a personality trait. Elaine challenges this idea. The habits that keep us quiet are often learned responses shaped by family, culture, workplaces and past experiences.

If you've ever held back an idea, softened feedback, or stayed silent in a meeting despite having something valuable to contribute, the question isn't "What's wrong with me?" but "What taught me that silence was safer?"

Speaking up is about impact, not volume

Unlearning silence doesn't mean becoming the loudest person in the room. Elaine argues that many people mistakenly equate influence with visibility or extroversion.

Instead, she encourages us to focus on contribution. What perspective would be missing if you stayed silent? Reframing speaking up as an act of service rather than self-promotion can make it feel far more accessible.

Start with one small act of voice

We often imagine courage as a dramatic moment. Elaine reminds us that courage is usually built through repetition.

That might mean asking the question you're hesitant to ask, sharing an unfinished idea, disagreeing respectfully, or naming something that others seem unwilling to say. Each small act helps build evidence that your voice belongs in the conversation.

As Elaine shared with us, unlearning silence isn't about changing who you are. It's about reclaiming parts of yourself that may have been edited out along the way.

Elaine Lin Hering

Elaine Lin Hering helps leaders solve for silence.

She is the author of Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More Fully, a national bestseller translated into over 10 languages, offering proven strategies that help individuals and organizations unlock their full potential and create meaningful impact.

She has worked across six continents with global brands including Google, Nike, Pixar, American Express, PayPal, Salesforce, Novartis, Chevron, and Save the Children, facilitated executive education at Harvard, Dartmouth, Tufts, UC Berkeley, and UCLA, and served as Advanced Training Director for the Harvard Mediation Program.

Named a Thinkers50 Global Management Thinker to Watch, her work has been featured in Harvard Business Review, NPR, Inc., Success, Rotman, Fast Company, and Fortune.